National Hangover Day

January 1st, national hangover day. Actually, today is my birthday. This has its good and bad points. It is an honour to herald in a new year with so many well wishes on both sides. However, most people don’t experience yearly sick people en mass on their birthday. Ergo, I have frequent exposure and an informative collection of knowledge on over-drinking. One day, I may write a book, but for now, here are some highlights.

5 cultural cures for a hangover

1. Lutefisk (Norweigan). What? Lutefisk. Dried cod soaked in lye. Steam it, soak it in butter. Eat it. Dunno if I could.

2. Voodoo (Haitian). Stick 13 pins in the offending cork. That’s it. If you can get the pins in, I’m thinking you’re gonna be okay in a few hours anyway.

3. Congee (Chinese). Drippy rice porridge with some sort of salty additive like duck or eggs, maybe mushrooms, bok choy. Again, if you can look at this, I’m thinking, you’re gonna be okay.

4. Pizzle (Sicilian). Dried bull penis. A traditional snack of an exotic Mediterranean isle. Hey, try anything to make that pain go away right?

5. Prarie Oyster (Wild West). A raw egg, Worcestershire sauce, whiskey, Tabasco sauce, vinegar, and salt/pepper. I think anyone who can do a hangover and eggs, again, is not that hungover.

Ergo, don’t overdrink dumbass. Really, any of the above is enough to make me want to drink to have the courage to ingest them – except the congee, I’ve had some pretty tasty congee, but not hungover.

What does work? Go back to bed. Can’t sleep for the pain? Increase your oxygen (and decrease impurities) in your blood by deep breathing (careful not to overdo it). Your stomach wants to empty? Let it, don’t drug it. Remember, you did just poison yourself, so let that poison leave the body. If you can eat/drink, do it. It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as you can keep it in comfortably and go back to bed. Can’t go back to bed? Take things as easy as you can. Delegate. Reorganize. Phone a friend – and remember you will owe them a favor after.

Next time,

5 preventions for a hangover

1. Sleep before you go out.

2. Drink between drinks. Coconut water, aloe vera juice, Gatorade, and water are your best wingman for your boozy night.

3. Choose juice mixers over pop, and choose clear liquors. Less toxins, less dehydration.

4. Dance. A lot. Love your lover. A lot. Do a s*%t ton of burpees or smack that heavy bag till sweaty, shower, repeat if necessary.

5. Eat the foods you shouldn’t eat. Fatty energy foods help you process the alcohol, and don’t even ruin the buzz.

Prevention is the best medicine. Next time…, drink more water, dance or make love more, don’t mix up your alcohol choices beyond two, and know your limit. Then maybe when we have cake together later today, you’ll enjoy it with me. Feeling fine? Congrats on celebrating AND leaving some energy left for later. Happy 2018!

Some Alcohol Wisdom:

1. Heavy Drinking Statistics for Canada.

2. Calorie information on your favorite alcoholic drinks

3. Alcohol use and your Health

4. What alcohol makes you behave like

5. Next article, how to replace that wonderful woozy feeling that alcohol gives...